iBall presents… Bank Aid (at lunchtime)
December 19th, 2008We are a charitable bunch and it is the bankers that need help now. Poor souls.
Bonuses gone south. Desks cleared. Empty commuter trains.
Given Alexandra has sown up number one, this is iBall's Christmas number 2.
Help spread the word - email this episode to a friend
6 Responses to “iBall presents… Bank Aid (at lunchtime)”
-
Zoe Says:
December 19th, 2008 at 2:55 pmAs a victim of the credit crunch, I am delighted this song has been recorded. Really important to raise awareness in these hard times. I am looking forward to all the hugs and free drinks that will result from this song…Thanks iBall!
-
Alex Says:
December 19th, 2008 at 3:17 pmAs a small bit part creator of the credit crunch, I am delighted that it is the gift that keeps on giving back, now in the form of music and comedy! Thanks iBall!
-
Charles Delaney Says:
December 19th, 2008 at 9:01 pmA delicate issue voiced in a very sensitive way!
Merry Tanks iball. (hicupp! hicupp!)breast,
Charles Delaney
ps. lend us a tenner?
-
JONNIE OF BRIXTON...trying to write a tv series,looking for a sugar mummy.. Says:
December 19th, 2008 at 10:02 pmIts hard for me to convey my emotions as I listened to that beautiful heart rendering song.At last some concerned people have got together and tried to ease the pain and anguish the ‘Nice people of Canary Wharf and Wall Street’ are going through. For the next couple of years all they will have is memories…-Cue the record by what’ his name?..ah yes..Noel Harrison-..’Windmills Of Your Mind’…..
Round, like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel.
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel….blah..blah..blah.
It will take great courage for the jobless financial wizards to come to terms with so much of real life…so in no particular order and ‘who gives a f**k anyway’…here is a little of what they face in the real world….
1.Everyone they thought were their friends not answering their frantic phone calls.
2. Realising that Michelin star restaurants wont take their phone calls.
3. The private members club,who cancelled their life membership hang up on their phone calls.
4. The exclusive gym never returns their phone calls.
5. Not having a phone.
But i feel that as time passes and most of us have enjoyed shadenfraude a little too much,the smug wannabe ‘Dickless Fulds’ of the world will understand that all the years of studying,going to the right university,having the right connections,butt kissing,selling their pathetic souls in pursuit of a pound note…oops..make that a powerful euro funny coloured monoploy looking note,and spending 15 hours a day shouting out bollocks as if they are in the first world war trenches and about to go over the top,when in reality they have been staring at a computer screen on five different time zones,in between saying..Ya’..Spearmint Rhino tonight,who’s got the charlie..?..Just closed a deal,look at my erection!!’…. have all been in vain,and 3-2-1 its time to catch the bus,no more sobbing about what might have been,forget about Polo,Henley Regatta,corporate life,South of France..nah…there is a possible chance having been exposed as a con man you could just get a decent job and f**king work for a change!!…..By the way..as a gobby London Cabbie it has been my misfortune to meet certain city types,and my personal Christmas message and New Year wish is to say…’ Get use to doing anal,it apparently hurts at first,similar to the pain of a recession you lot caused and didn’t care about…quick tip…if you had the dosh,i would sell you a gram which you could apply on the sensitive spot, and it would only burn in the morning..but yer skint..so piss off!!’
MERRY XMAS TO THE I BALL TEAM…UNLEASH MORE HELL IN 2009!!!
jonnie of brixton…a rant never hurt anyone…being head butted does!!.. -
JONNIE OF BRIXTON...trying to write a tv series,looking for a sugar mummy.. Says:
December 22nd, 2008 at 8:54 amQuick update…another faceless money grabbing excuse for humanity,now wants the banking industry to apologise..STOP LAUGHING AT THE BACK OF CLASS!!..here is a copy of his letter of dross…
The letter from ‘Any Bank UK…Dear Customer,for many years the banking industry was revered as a safe pair of hands,the impression was borderline snobbery which reflected in the attitude of the bank manager to the cashiers and our beloved call centres.It became the normal practice to go ‘cap in hand’ and ‘assume the position’ for your betters to actually see you or on certain occasions grant our valued time in order to consider giving you a loan or re finance. A lot of people felt as if they had to sign their children away,deport the other half to a foreign country and pledge life long obedience to the bank.We can only sincerely apologise for that impression,we ask forgiveness for the over charging,we sob and wail for you to stop reminding us about the minimum £25-35 charge for a bounced cheque,on bended knees please,please,stop mentioning the final demand letters and threats from our highly overpaid team of legal advisors. In conclusion..please listen to my final plea…At this time of the year when the banking crisis is not over and some of us will be looking for employment in the New Year,we do not want your pity,we only ask that you share our thoughts on how we were so wrong and understand that a banker is not just for Christmas,and it makes me sad to even think some of us will be going to our personal battersea dogs home in 2009,yes..the job centre is almost next door .I would like to point out that this e mail was for free and no charges will apply,please read carefully terms and conditions as they are not worth the paper they are written on…
all my love,mr.’muck-cawber’..an ex bank manager from brixton..xxx.you can call me jonnie..xxxxxxxx -
thecustomer Says:
December 22nd, 2008 at 5:35 pmLoving your work Jonnie, but surely we need to help them all.
Keep up the good work in 09 iBall.
TC x
Heavens! A crunch has become chaos and carnage and the market only seems to go one way –meltdown. Perhaps, it is not the best time in the world to be cheerfully giving investment ideas, given it’s so difficult to pick anything out of all of this mess. Just look at our portfolio.
